Responsibility of philosophy
I am living alone in my own universe and have the responsibility of continually developing and testing my own knowledge base and philosophical framework. This quest has lead me down strange paths, dark corners and brilliant discoveries. A journey of intellectual investigation always delivers moment of profound surprises.

The systematics of the Tarot.
In my quest to gain insight on the link between the Tarot and Egyptian myth I started reading The Book of Thoth (Egyptian tarot) by the infamous Aleister Crowley. The introduction to the theory of the Tarot does not in itself highlight any significant historically based link with Egyptian mythology. I have not finished reading the book so it is still too early to tell whether the book will highlight any particular link. I did however stumbled onto a chapter that leaped to me from the pages. I have suspected a link between the Tarot minor arcana and systematics as per Gurdjieff/ JG Bennett. The book of Thoth's introduction clearly uses systematics terms to describe the progression from 1 to 10 in the minor arcana. The description does seem to be very shallow relative to the depth presented by JG Bennett. I do not think Crowley was a student of systematics but he must have had exposure to the same reasoning which developed into systematics. I am eager to develop a systematics based Tarot set and build systemic theory into the Tarot interpretation. The initial concepts pictures I have drawn during my vacation is now of more importance.

Gnostism
Based on various conversations on the Xanga I have decided to do a bit of more digging into the Gnostic teachings of early Christianity. I have never been attracted to the Gnostic scriptures and read about it only on a superficial level. There is a suggestion that Gnostism is linked to a sect of mystical Jews, the Therapeutae, who lived near Alexandria in Egypt at the beginning of the first century. This link might make the connection clear between the Qabalah and the Tarot. I am playing with hypothesis at this moment of time without any factual information to back it up.

Temple layout
Another interesting theory I am playing with is that there is a link between the Qabalah tree of life structure and the the layout of the Old Egyptian temples. Both seem to be supporting a fourfold system of initiation into the deeper mysteries. As far as my initial understanding of Gnostism it has a similar archetypal thought pattern than that represented in the Qabalah. They all have an outer world of mundane and ordinary activities which is outside the temple. The next is a world that can be entered by everybody but who is entered only by those with a keen interest to learn more. The next is the sacred who can only be accessed by the initiated and the fourth is the deepest level which can only be entered by the most initiated.

My Blog - My temple?
Even a blog has a similar temple layout. There is the world out there on the internet surfing around. Then there are those who regularly read entries in the public domain of blog. Then there are those who can read protected list and finally there is the private entries whom nobody else can read except the writer/ owner of the blog.

Dream of the run-away truck
The structure of my dreams is changing.
Last night I dreamt that I was attending a course at a mall when a small white�truck parked in the parking lot. The one driver was unpacking while the other went to buy some cigarettes. While both were away the truck started to move, running downhill. I sprinted after it and got inside to stop the truck from running away. I drove it back to its original parking place and then took the key that was still in the ignition. The driver of the vehicle came back and wanted the key but I refused to give it to him. I told him that I will only give the keys to the boss of the truck ...so that I can tell him how irresponsible they were in leaving the vehicle without the handbrake being on. Although he pleaded to get back the keys I did not give the keys back and went back to attend my course.

Experiment of present moment learning
I am experimenting to take Gurdjieff's concept of self remembering a step further based on something I read from the book called Total Freedom by Krisnamurti. Self-observation and self-remembering is still based on past experience and still based on how the mind sees the owner. Krisnamurti seems to place the challenge for us to enter into a present moment space not just with a self remembering approach but also with an approach of continual learning. Observing our environment and ourselves from a totally undefined position...that is to see the whole as if it is for the first time. In this approach an experience is created that everything is new and fresh...The traces of the past moves out of focus and the present moment moves more sharply in focus.
I experimented the last two days with this approach of looking at my world without any past filters. My observation was that firstly the world seemed more fresh ad exiting...I became much more aware of the quality of the moment in terms of the opportunity to learn. I realised how much of my experience is filtered up by a sense of familiarity. Our minds think that it has seen something before and totally pushes it to the subconscious for storage and the conscious mind does not even get a sniff of it. I was also amazed to discover how much of me is either living in the past or in the future even though I have been practicing present moment awareness for some time.
This exercise asks for a total clearing of the mind so that the experience can enter directly into the conscious mind without being filtered into the subconscious mind. I do believe that the traces of the past and the possibilities of the future needs to be drawn into the moment experience but realise now that this is one approach. The other is to push them out totally. Thus again a dyad emerges - I will call the one approach "Integrative present moment" where past and future converge into the present moment and the other "Expansive present moment" where the past and the future is removed from the present moment experience.� These two modes of present moment experience are both needed, yet can not be lived simultaneously. I need to find a frequency of moving between these two states as I live life.